“For the Love of Ray J” + Me = The Lowest Ratings in the History of VH1

I was on the corner of Sunset Blvd and Ivar Ave in LA when a casting associate from VH1 walked up to me and asked if I’d like to audition for “For the Love of Ray J” Season 2.

Yes, you read that right. Mothersucking Ray J!

Anyone who knows me personally knows that I have a smart @$$ mouth but I’m really Lauren McPRUDEnse. So you can imagine my shock when the casting associate approached me.

This had to be a joke right?! When I realized that he was serious, I stopped laughing and thought “do I really look like a strumpet or someone who is willing do anything for 15 minutes of fame?”

He explained to me that this season they were taking the show in a new direction, as they wanted classy, beautiful girls—even hotter than last season. Flattered but not fooled, my first inclination was to politely decline, but then I thought “what the heck this may be interesting” and exchanged contact information with him.

After he walked away, I immediately ask my girls (who were witnessing this whole thing on the sidelines) if I looked hoeish. I mean this was my first time in LA— maybe my efforts to step it up and show out backfired. Maybe the dress was a little too tight and a little too short. Then again I was standing on the corner at 1am. You be the judge: picture from that night below



After a few laughs with my gfs, we thought it would be funny if I auditioned and basically gave VH1 what they were truly looking for: a classy (i use the term loosely) yet undercover freak full of personality. Ha! This was going to be interesting.

The morning of my audition, I filled out the application that asked for everything from my ex boyfriends’ names and numbers (ha yeah right!) to my strategy to turn Ray J into a one-woman man. I was ok after the first couple of questions but once I got to page five, I no longer gave a damn.

I was over it, out of character and ready to go home. It’s so hard for me to sustain interest in something that I’m really not into but I was already in the lobby, so I figured I’d get it over with. Maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that they were really looking for classy women and that Ray J had been replaced by Tyson Beckford ( I can dream cant i).

As soon as I entered the small room, I was instructed to take off all my noisy jewelry, to answer in full sentences and not to look directly into the camera. They stressed that I should be myself as they would find out who i am one way or another. Needless to say, I was pinned as the goodie good church girl in less than three questions lol (there goes my acting career). I was asked if I get “all excited in church”.

Ahh I know where this is going...if I’m going to be on the show, they’d want me to catch the holy spirit every 5 seconds, preach about Jesus and why everyone is going to hell while being a hypocrite and sexing it up with Ray J on the side. Umm, no thanks!

Five minutes into the audition, the guy conducting the interview decided to take a call on his cell. I'm assuming he was talking to another casting associate as he said that there had been a lot of great personalities/characters but on a scale from 1-10, these girls were a "6" in hotness. He demanded 8’s and up . Still on the phone, he paused to ask me if I was mixed, then continued his conversation. WTF! So if I am mixed, what does that do for me? Will i automatically get cast on the show? And, am I a "6" on this hotness scale of yours?

But the biggest “wtf” moment came when I learned that these girls only get paid $100 per day that they are on the show. WOW!

I already know that I wont be called back and I wasn’t really trying to be cast either. It seemed amusing at first and then just plain annoying to go through the motions after I didn’t care anymore. A waste of time for everyone, however at least I got a few laughs out of the experience.